So Em and I have been married for almost two years, and over time I’ve figured out that husbands and wives are different. I know, I am a genius ;) So I thought I would share seven things I learned doing our first year of marriage.
Now, people gave me first year of marriage advice, so going into this thing I knew that guys and girls were different. I was warned about putting the toilet seat down. I knew that Em would be a better cook, while my skills would probably be best suited for taking out the trash. And all in all, I knew that living with a girl would be slightly different than rooming with guys at college. But I had been dating Em for a while so I thought “hey, how different can it be?”
Well, there were some things I noticed our first year of marriage that I was pleasantly surprised about:
1. Our apartment smelled 100x better than an all-male dorm room. Also, Em actually decorated the walls with things other than 2-liter Mountain Dew labels!
But I wasn’t prepared for some other interesting things our first year of marriage…
2. Like when we went grocery shopping, she brought these things called coupons and had to make sure she was getting the best deal on every item. I didn’t know that the car ride home was meant for my wife bragging about how many pennies she saved on that $2 pack of butter. Likewise, she couldn’t understand how I could go grocery shopping without a list. My best explanation is that my stomach and I have this skill of aimlessly walking the grocery store, just picking out whatever looks good until I think I have a “a good amount.”
3. I also wasn’t aware that my marriage vows included “I will squash every bug in our home.” However, any time there’s a bug – or sometimes even just a piece of lint – on the floor, I am responsible for disposing of it. But just coming to the rescue is not always good enough. Sometimes I will get tips on how to dispose of the bug: “don’t smoosh it on the wall,” “don’t throw it in the trashcan in case he crawl outs,” or “stay in here in case there are any more.” The worst is if I don’t get the bug and then have to spend hours searching for a thing the size of an ant because “it could have babies and infest the whole apartment.”
4. Also, no one warned me that sharing with Em meant an all-out war for the covers. I eventually just surrendered this battle and resulted to sleeping with my own blanket. I guess unknowingly I’ve saved the same blanket since middle school…we both discovered I’d developed a little attachment to it when Em suggested throwing it out because it didn’t match our decor. My only counter argument was that plaid matches everything and she just doesn’t have any decorating skills (remember this is the same guy who used to decorate with Mountain Dew labels)!
5. Now growing up, I was given two rules when it came to fights: 1. Don’t break anything (furniture or limbs) and 2. No crying. So I was not too used to dealing with emotion, but I figured if Em ever started to cry, I would be calm and provide a rational solution to her problem. It turns out that she doesn’t want a solution, but rather me just to be there for her? I am still really confused about this one, but for now buying her favorite ice cream seems to do the trick, so I guess I’ll just stock up on Mint Cookies & Cream!
6. Now Em has never exactly been shy when it comes to randomly breaking out singing. However, I did NOT know that some girls like to have all out random dance parties while they are cooking or cleaning. I’ll be in the other room and hear Em blaring music, only to walk out seeing her dancing away with the vacuum like she’s one of Katy Perry’s backup dancers!
7. Then in the summer, we cannot agree on the temperature of our apartment to save our lives. I like it to be cool, and she likes it warm. This results in us both nudging the temp up or down a few degrees each time we walk past the thermostat, hoping the other won’t notice. Sometimes we are successful, until we get our electric bill!
So after almost two years of marriage, I am still finding out just how different we can be. But I guess that’s also a cool thing. I mean, how cool will it be if we are still learning new things about each other 50 years down the road? That is also I think what brings us closer and makes us better friends. There are some things I don’t think I’ll ever get used to, but I guess I’ll just have to buy an extra blanket for the winter, a pair of headphones for my wife’s random American Idol auditions, and load up on ice cream for emergency situations!